It’s been a hard year to Celebrate.
Middle Eastern wars are like leap years, where there’s still conflict in-between. But every fourth year? Turn it up to a 9 or 10.
The prevalence of our people dying, whether they are our people or not, is front-and-centre. The idea of military violence at scale in 2024 is crazy.
Afghanistan? Crazy.
Iraq was crazy. Syria is crazy too.
Ukraine, unreal to think it’s true, but it’s happening.
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Celebrations are hard.
I’m guilty of not giving up news, despite how much I wanted to.
It worked for a little while, though Apple News on my phone is a swipe away.
Every day it’s a bombardment:
School-yard bullying style politics in Canada.
Economic Crisis.
News of violence in our streets and communities,
Breakdown of American institution.
American military or political violence somewhere out there.
But, it’s not new. Right?
Always Has Been
If we scale back 20 years, we have more or less of the same.
When we go back 40 years, 50 years, or even 60, it’s been the same.
Divisive politics.
Economic Crisis.
News of violence in our streets and communities.
Changing of institutions or their breakdown.
American military or political violence out there.
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Tuning In
In our teens, we protested. Made rebel music.
In our 20s, we survived.
In our 30s, we thrived and became cynical.
In our mid-to-late 30’s, we committed to social change.
And a little bit ago, I turned 40.
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Unlike any other years, this year has been a light-switch in my brain.
We’ve always known that it ‘always has been’ — what’s new for me at least, is the time I have left. When you turn 40, you 100% do a mental check of prime years left.
- 40 to 50
- 50 to 60
- 60 to 65?
In Arabic we say: “lives (or years) are in the hands of God”. As in these remaining 20, 25 years can be cut short to tomorrow, 3 or 5 years, or God can push me all the way to 87.
How do you plan for something like that?
Virgil Abloh passed away at 41.
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The Impact of Time on Perspective
My partner and I talk about this sometimes, that even when things are going good, or great in our life, we’re not conditioned to celebrate and be happy.
As immigrants, growing up poor, or anyone who has experienced significant disruptions in life, as adults we live constantly prepared for something to go wrong.
It’s baggage we carry, packed and ready.
And so we either:
Pad our lives, financially or socially to always be prepared.
Or we YOLO.
We’re reminded of these uncertain feeling via the constant bombardments I wrote about earlier, that make their way into our life and brains.
In either scenario, we hopefully do not pass our baggage to our kids.
Can we take a who cares attitude?
Who cares about divisive politics, economic crisis, news of violence in our streets and communities, changing of institutions or their breakdown, or American military or political violence in the world?
Do we become cynical?
Do we take a it-is-what-it-is, we can’t make change anyways attitude?
Do we join politics, become activists, or dedicate our lives to social change? Do we even have a responsibility to any of these things?
Or do we just do our best, ignore the news cycle, and be the best humans we can in our own lives? How do our bodies cope?
I saw my parents live through this entire thing. And at the end of their lives, across continents, the world itself doesn’t really care, neither do the issues.
Lost in time.
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Turning 40
I can’t imagine the feeling of a constant calm. Do other people have it? Do they fake it? Is how I feel how everyone feels, to some degree or another?
I want it.
The bombardment does not stop though.
We’re reminded in grocery prices, interest rates, political attacks, budget cuts, government corruption, wavering leaders, and recently these images of dystopian air drops.
How do I celebrate 40?
How do I live?
How do I work or announce a new project?
How are people accepting Oscars?
How do we do this without shame?
The other side exists, and it lives.
Or it decides to live.
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According to Crisis Group, there are 10 major worldwide conflicts— and according to Crisis Watch, 70 significant conflicts are monitored every month.
Always has been.
We all cope, rationalize, and find our middle ground.
Calm, truth, life.
Peace to you and yours.
Ramadan Kareem.